July 31st.

Haven't posted in a while, so thought I'd drop by with this pretty pic I found on my mess of a laptop that I took a while ago.

Blood Donation, 29/06/2011

Has successfully donated just under a pint of blood for the first time!! After a LONG time worrying and fretting over this (having never needed blood tests etc), I walked into The Forum nervously, and came out gleaming :) Of  course I cried like a complete baby when I lied down, (I can't stand needles! Blood I am OK with!) and ended up with the whole room of nurses giving me sympathetic smiles, "awwws" and "are you OK?s". You wouldn't think I was a 19 year old! But I got through it, and it barely even hurt - the needle itself just felt like a scratch.

And there is nothing more satisfying than knowing you have helped to save a person's life. 
http://www.blood.co.uk/

Emma.

Recent works from FMP...

Just thought I'd post a few pics up of some of the work I have been doing recently. This is one of the pieces that went up in my Final Major Exhibition, called 'Storm', painted with inks layered on top of sand and collaged textile pattern paper. I actually found out that pattern paper is a fantastic medium to use, because it is so thin it becomes really flexible, transparent and rips nicely, especially when wet. The whole theme I was working on during the project was mainly to do with memory, my own, and personal experiences of the coastline that I have grown up with. I worked with intuition and passion, creating this abstract painting that I feel resembles elements of a storm at sea. :)

I actually sold this painting to one of my old teachers at college, for a lovely £100, after a lot of interest at my FME night. A little sum to go towards my university funds! I named it 'Morning Haze' because it reminded myself of a cold, sharp morning on the beach in the winter. Again this is a mixed media piece on canvas, working with inks, hand-made paper, scrim, sand, plaster and textile pattern paper. Mainly inspired by the artist Toni Grote who I found on a blog, who creates stunning minimal landscapes from mixed media.

Emma.

Ian Walton - Venice,9,48,Mist.2008

IAN WALTON - Venice,9,48,Mist.2008

One of my fave pieces from Ian Walton's work. I love the whole vagueness of the scene - the arches of Venice are not entirely detailed but are prominant... the archaic colours of Italy create the impression that I am present within, though are clouded by memory... even the red and white striped pole is symbolic of the watery terrain. I want to be there! I was actually meant to be going on holiday to Italy this summer, but personal funds won't allow this, especially since University costs so much!! One day maybe....

Emma.

09/06/2011 - Final Major Exhibition

Final Major Exhibition, 09/06/2011: Went really well! Had a fantastic time basically celebrating our success after a long year of hard work. Got some great 'buzz' from some of the guests, and even had a few offers on 2 of my pieces. 'Morning Haze' was the most popular (the portrait sized painting), one of my favourite pieces, Mixed Media on Canvas. I have actually sold this for £100 (oh my gees!) to my English Literature teacher from my second year at A-level. My first painting to be sold -- I couldn't be more proud!! She even gave me a hug and told me how much she appreciated me selling the piece to her. I get the cheque tomorrow when I sign off. The fashion show was equally as fantastic, there are some really talented students in this world :D

I got my results the next day - I scored a Merit! I originally thought that maybe I could have scored a distinction, and was in quite a bit of shock having been led on a little by the 'D' marked by my Statement of Intent, but I overcame this and I couldn't be more proud of my achievement :) I think the biggest shock came from my boyfriend who scored a really well deserved distinction, after many years of barely putting any work in he finally came out on top! He's going on to study Architecture at the same university.

I have also found some new class mates on Facebook who are starting my Contemporary Arts degree in September. Ahhhh so excited!

Emma.

Self Confidence Issues

My self confidence is a real blow to any task that I do in life. I personally feel like I am pretty much naff at everything that I come across, particularly in my art work. It takes me a long time to accept what I have been doing as it is, like a "whatever will be, will be" phase of mind, though out of every rough patch I go through with my confidence, I somehow come out learning something new about myself and my ideals/aspirations at the end of it all. It's like I see myself coming out of the dark and into the light, bit by bit. Seems kind of poetic, but that's the only way I can really explain it.

I've been watching this series recently called 'Show me the Monet', which is practically a 'Dragon's Den' style show which artist's from around the UK come and show their work to a small panel of 3 critics, who will decide based on three criteria whether or not their work will show in the exhibition at the Royal College of Art. The three criteria are:

1. Originality,

2. Emotional captivity &

3. Technique.

There are some really fantastic pieces that get brought to panel, but some don't make it through due to this strict criteria they have set. The pieces of artwork don't necessarily have to be contemporary or traditional, but have to show complete originality, have to give a strong emotional captivation and the technique must be of a good quality. Now I know I have a massive problem with comparing myself to others - this is where most of my confidence issues derive from - but there is a lot of work that I know I would not stand a chance against or I wish I could have a similar style to, because I look at the work I am doing now and basically think it is a load of rubbish. I just know for a fact I would not be able to make a living as an artist for a career.

On the other hand, I feel sometimes that by comparing myself to others I am becoming far more open minded, slightly more determined, and more importantly inspired by different techniques/practices that I may be able to weave into my own style of working.

To be honest, I think I will need to put up some of my work on this here blog for you readers to judge (wherever you are, if you are there!). Please keep in mind that I am pretty much an amateur and I have a lot of developing to do. I may be going through education but I know I can do better than what I am doing now. I really know it.

But despite all of this -- why do I still feel like this is almost the wrong direction for me? Although I am going into an area which I absolutely adore, I wonder whether I will truly find how I can create a lot of potential for myself in whatever work I find in the future. I don't think I will ever become a professional artist, though this will never stop me from getting out the paintbrush and inks once in a while. I think I feel I want to be a critic or an art therapist or something more business orientated. Despite what I feel are my 'flaws', I think I have quite a strong head when it comes to being extremely dedicated and hard working, and I think I have a good eye for some things involved in art that a lot of people don't have, like finding hidden meanings behind pieces, or linking the artist's life with their work and how it reflects their technique/style etc.

I just feel lost sometimes. When I get compliments they mean the absolute world to me, as I feel like I appreciate them more, but deep down there are always two sides to how I feel about my work, which is something I've never come to terms with before. Maybe this is what it feels like to come into one's own at this stage in my life.

It's just, sometimes I think I need a reason to carry on, a really good reason that I haven't found out yet.

Needed to get that off my chest a little. It weighs me down all the time. There's always more to add too. Emma.

What should I blog about today?

Well, for a Sunday it has been particularly boring, but at the same it can be a good thing. Apart from doing literally nothing all day, I managed to get a few things done like cleaning the house and having a long bubble bath, which only happens on rare occasions. I usually like to do something recreational on a Sunday, but because I've been so busy with college and work I just want to have a day to myself from time to time. Not that I have a particularly hectic lifestyle (as of yet, anyway).

I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I am going off to University in September. I almost feel a sense of regret that I didn't choose The University of Westminster as my first choice, instead of The University of Huddersfield, which I am now practically bound to. Gees, I make it sound like I didn't even have a choice. Truth is, I still think Westminster has the best course, but I'm stupidly not brave enough to pack my bags and move to London, having lived in the same town for the whole of my life so far, it costs a fortune to live down there and the fact I will be hundreds of miles away from my family and my boyfriend. It was actually my mum, dad and my boyfriend that convinced me to think it was a bad idea. I just feel like I have missed out on a great opportunity to break free and become my own individual self, tackling great big cities that I am not particularly familiar with, instead of starting at the bottom I could have thrown myself into the deep end. I felt like an Independent person every time I went down there and I loved being there too, despite hating how sweaty and dirty I felt as I took the tube, or how the air felt so thick of pollution compared to my lovely country/coastal air I have up here.

Oh well. Let's just hope I have chosen the right path. I mean, it's all about Fate, right? Who knows where I might end up?

Emma.